It’s natural to want a clear “do this, not that” answer, yet sometimes advice isn’t the medicine the moment needs. Psychodynamic psychotherapy aims to help you understand the deeper patterns - unconscious wishes, fears, and relational templates - that shape how you feel and choose. In psychodynamic therapy, the goal is real, internal change rather than quick fixes. As a result, psychodynamic clinicians are cautious about giving advice, especially unsolicited advice, which research shows can hurt the prospects for healthy collaboration in treatment (Eubanks, Muran, & Safran, 2018). Other therapies, like cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) are more explicitly structured and task-oriented: therapists often suggest homework and concrete exercises to help you practice new skills between sessions - an intentional, directive element of CBT (Kazantzis, Whittington, & Dattilio, 2010). Third-wave therapies (like ACT and DBT) similarly emphasize skills acquisition and in-the-moment al experiments to align actions with values and strengthen emotion regulation.
So, what does a psychodynamic therapist do instead of giving advice? We slow down with you. Together, we map the recurring situations that leave you stuck, the feelings that surge (or disappear) in those moments, and the stories you tell yourself about what is possible. We pay close attention to the therapy relationship itself, using what happens between us as living data about how you experience closeness, conflict, and care. We help you tolerate strong emotions, recognize defensive habits that once protected you but now constrain you, and identify the multiple parts of you that want different things. Rather than handing you a “right answer,” we help you feel and think your way into choices that match who you are, so that your next step isn’t just effective this week, but coherent with your deeper aims in the long run.
If you’re longing for clear direction yet also want to grow your own inner compass, Avalon Psychology can help. Our clinicians offer depth-focused psychodynamic therapy for adolescents, adults, and families. We’re practical when safety or urgency calls for it, and collaborative in helping you build support systems that make change possible, while keeping the focus on understanding yourself well enough to choose wisely.
Dr. Brent Mulrooney, C.Psych., is the founder of Avalon Psychology and a clinical psychologist in downtown Toronto. For over a decade, he has worked with hundreds of clients across trauma and complex trauma, personality disorders, anxiety and mood disorders, dissociative disorders, gender identity and sexuality, family functioning and relationships, and work and school success. He holds a PhD in School and Clinical Child Psychology (University of Toronto) and a Master’s in Applied Social Psychology (Memorial University of Newfoundland). If you’d like to explore whether our approach is right for you, reach out; we’d be glad to think it through together.
References
Eubanks, C. F., Muran, J. C., & Safran, J. D. (2018). Alliance rupture repair: A meta-analysis. Psychotherapy, 55(4), 508-519.
Kazantzis, N., Whittington, C., & Dattilio, F. (2010). Meta-analysis of homework effects in cognitive and behavioral therapy: A replication and extension. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 17(2), 144–156. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1468-2850.2010.01204.x